This is the first-ever Dizzy Dana joke book, published in 2000.


Our Favorite JokesEdit

  • Dana: When is it very bad luck to see a black cat? When you're a mouse.
  • Donnie: What kind of clown wears the biggest shoes? The one with the biggest feet.
  • Darrell: What do you call chicken food? Chicken feed.
  • Sophie: Knock-Knock! Who's there? Annie! Annie who? Anniebody home?
  • What flower is on your face? A tulip.
  • Nathan: What kind of horse can jump higher than a house? All of them. A house can't jump!

Donnie's Computer Jokes (Page 3)Edit

  • Where can you find a snowman's website? On the winter-net.
  • Why did the computer buzz? It had a bug in it.
  • Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
  • What's every computer's favorite snack? Chips.
  • Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer? Because he ate the mouse.
  • Why does my computer glitch whenever I log on to the Seven Dwarfs' website? The screen turns Snow White.
  • What did the computer do at lunch? He had a byte.

Anthony and Jennifer's Jokes from the Doo-Wop Diner (Pages 5-6)Edit

  • What did the hamburger name her daughter? Patty.
  • What smells the best at the Doo-Wop Diner? Your nose.
  • What did the mayonnaise say when we opened the refrigerator? "Close the door, I'm dressing!"
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • What happened to us when a chicken layed an egg on top of a barn roof? We got an eggroll.
  • What happened to us when we crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? We got a hot diggity dog.
  • What happened to us when we crossed a monster with some cheese? We got a really scary Muenster!
  • What did we get when we crossed a snake with a flaky-crusted pastry? We got a piethon.
  • What did we get when we crossed a sweet potato and a jazz singer? We got a yam session!
  • What did we get when we crossed a frog with a popsicle? We got a hopsicle!
  • Anthony: Did you like our new location on the moon? Jennifer: No, it didn't have the atmosphere!
  • Why can't you starve to death on a beach? Because of the sandwiches there.
  • What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich.
  • What is very, very furry on the inside and white on the outside? A cat-and-mouse sandwich.
  • What did the bacon say to the tomato? "Lettuce get together sometime."
  • What did one steak knife say to the other? "You look sharp."
  • Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg told a great yolk!
  • What did baby corn say to momma corn? "Can you help me find my pop?"

Dana's Doorknocker Jokes (Pages 1-2) Edit

Did you know that "doorknocker jokes" are what I call knock-knock jokes? Here are a few of my favorites. I hope they will become your favorites, too!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anyone want to let me in?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open until your birthday!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Cashew. Cashew who? Cashew is the sound of a sneezing nut.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Anita. Anita who? Anita little help here - I can't be late to school again!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Warts. Warts who? Warts the difference between frogs and toads?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Celeste. Celeste who? I always look forward to Celeste day of school!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Cheese. Cheese who? Cheese the happiest girl in the world! (This joke is about me, but you could probably guess that!)

Knock, knock! Who's there? Avenue. Avenue who? Avenue ever heard a doorknocker joke before?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcases for our vacation.

ACHOO! Donnie's Sneezing Jokes (Page 4) Edit

What do my orange sneakers say when they sneeze? "A-shoe!"

What did the Broadway star say when he sneezed? "A-show!"

What did the computer say when it sneezed? "ACHOO! I have a virus."

Knock-knock. Who's there? Pepper. Pepper who? Pepper makes me sneeze. A-choo!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Cod. Cod who? Cod a cold and now, I'm about to sneeze. Ah-choo!

Why does Santa sneeze a lot? Because of sooty chimneys!

Dana's Jukebox Jokes (Pages 5-6) Edit

  • What's every wild Australian dog's favourite song? "My Dingo-Ling."
  • What is every beautician's favourite song? "Makin' Up Is Hard To Do."
  • What is every cow's favourite song? "Moo River."
  • What is every tornado's favourite song? "Let's Twist Again."
  • What is every pirate's favourite song? "Swingin' on a Starrrr!"

Sophie's Sock Hop Jokes (page 7)Edit

  • What color socks do teddy bears wear to sock hops? None. They have bear feet!
  • What do you say to a wallflower frog in stocking feet? "Sock-hop in!"
  • Where do rabbits without shoes dance? At a sock hop.

Don's Dino Jokes (pages 8-9)Edit

  • What type of dinosaur could jump higher a house? All of them. A house can't jump!
  • When can 3 big dinos sit under an umbrella and not get wet? When the weather is sunny.
  • What is the difference between a Tyrannosaurus and a strawberry? Strawberries are red.
  • What do you call a fossil that won't work? Lazybones.